It’s Mea Culpa Time

By Thomas Quinn

You know you’re losing the PR game when you’re facing a moral crisis similar to Jimmy Swaggart’s, and his reaction demonstrated more integrity than your own. Such is the dilemma confronting Pope Benedict XVI in the face of the priest molestation scandal. When Swaggart was outted back in 1988 for doing things with a prostitute that would embarrass Ron Jeremy, the televangelist huckster walked out to center stage of his ministry of 7,000 in Baton Rouge, admitted “moral failure,” resigned his post before the world, and blubbered to the Lord for forgiveness. Then he asked for donations.

It was a pathetic spectacle, without a shred of dignity. But Swaggart understood that the moment wasn’t about dignity; it was about making a virtue of his vice and saving his church. The only way he was coming out of this like a sincere Christian was to come clean and admit that he blew it, so to speak.

Popes need to understand this. Any church that’s given new meaning to the words “no child left behind” the way the Church has needs a game-changing strategy. After all, the reason for the Catholic Church’s existence is the claim that it’s God’s exclusive mouthpiece on earth. The best way to prove that, and to deflect accusations of the Church as perv central, if that’s still possible, is for the pope to do the Christian thing: Confess whatever there is to confess, repent sincerely, and atone for any sins committed. He needs to walk the walk and show us how it’s done. We need to see a healthy dose of the same self-sacrifice he keeps demanding from the rest of us; the kind demonstrated by the guy he wears as a trinket around his neck. How can he expect all of us to behave morally if his own holy hierarchy doesn’t measure up?

Doing this on Easter, by the way, would not be “inappropriate.” It would be the perfect time to show how a real Christian behaves. Christians are supposed to embrace the truth, and never mind the earthly consequences. After all, they’re angling for eternal life, and the Church is fishing for new recruits. The pope isn’t going to achieve either by coming off like the CEO of God, Inc. Circling the wagons, blaming his accusers, and stonewalling won’t cut it. He needs to try something selfless and dramatic, because this is for all the marbles. Western Civilization has put up with the witch-hunts, the Crusades, the Inquisitions, the book-burnings, and the suppression of science, along with cheap wine and gag-inducing wafers every Sunday. But the current scandal is so pervasive and so…icky, as well as criminal, that it crosses a new line. The pontiff has to hit the reset button with something earnest and impressive that no other institution would dare try. But prostrating himself before the world does not seems to be on his to-do list. Big mistake.

Personally, I believe that central to fixing the problem is to attack the root of this whole mess—the celibate priesthood. The church should no longer be a refuge for confused or twisted men. A profession that allows them to deny their sexuality makes it a sanctuary for those who would rather bury their issues than confront them. Yeah, sure, we like the “purity” idea of celibate holy men, but plenty of religious leaders have sex lives (just ask Jimmy Swaggart) and they manage to provide spiritual leadership.

The No-Cuddles policy isn’t doing anyone any good. It wasn’t a requirement of early Christianity. In fact, the celibate priesthood wasn’t official until about thousand years after the crucifixion, and it was established mostly so that a dying priest would leave his property to the Church instead of to a family. It was about the money.

Admittedly, Swaggart was protestant fundamentalist who didn’t face the celibacy policy, and that didn’t keep him on the straight and narrow. But at least his activities weren’t criminal—just a little nauseating. It’s a lot easier to forgive that.